Skyrocketing

Yay! We are officially awesome! The Evil Genius Network has won 2nd place in the Awesome Company Contest (aka Tech Class). To celebrate, we took the day off to run through fields of wildflowers and sing about butterflies and rainbows. LOL JK. We actually celebrated by announcing the release of our new product...The....wait. JK again. We don't have a new product yet! We have tons of ideas though! (silly Evil Geniuses have been storming their brains instead of the prototype labs) and we have nothing to show for these wonderful ideas! This is in part because we can't possibly create all these prototypes at once, but also in part because we want you, fellow evil genius, to be a part of our next release. So, we have created an official poll (to the right of your computer screen) to collect votes on our next product. So please, evil geniuses, let your voice be heard! The future of the Evil Genius Network rests in your hands!  Please leave any questions about any of the new product options in the comments box below. Thank you, geniuses for helping the Evil Genius Network skyrocket into a new level of Amazing.

And Now To Conquer Zombies!

Dearest evil geniuses, I would like to thank you all for being such an integral part in this company's performance so far. We have sold over 5,000,000 products because of you! You can expect to continue to see new products every now and then, but now that our business is booming with the Original Trio (Confuzerozzer 2000, Lemon Lobber, and Getaway Hairspray), the Evil Geniuses need to take a break to develop the tools necessary for fending off the zombies that will inevitably be coming next month. So, thank you for your patience and cooperation as we take a short leave of absence from our weekly tool production to devote our time to researching various was of keeping you safe, and furthering our plan of world domination. You can expect to be updated frequently on our research efforts by visiting this blog and our website.

The Only Hairspray That You'll Ever Need!

It's here, evil geniuses! The one, the only, GETAWAY HAIRSPRAY! *insert witty jingle* view the commercial here. Also, please leave comments and suggestions about the Evil Genius Network on our Facebook page! It will give the Evil Geniuses something to read in their spare time.

Get ready for the latest piece of Evil Genius Network awesomeness!

Getaway Spray-
Ever wish you could make a quick run for it without your amazing evil genius 'do getting messed up in the process? Well now you can! With Getaway Spray, your hair will go straight from the lab to the speeding convertible in no time! Stronger than regular hairsprays that lose their effect in wids created by high speeds, Getaway Spray will not fail you in your time of need! Please observe:

With Getaway Spray

Without Getaway Spray

See the difference, fellow evil geniuses? Make the decision yourself. An all- new commercial for Getaway Spray will be available this week.

Watch Dr. Brain's Interview!

Dr. Brain shares her discoveries with the Evil Genius Network for the first time on camera! Catch the video here! Also view it on our website.

Now You Can Facebook Stalk Us!

We know you stalk your friends on Facebook. And we wholeheartedly approve. Now, you can stalk us and leave all sorts of wonderful comments about the Evil Genius Network! Just visit our group on Facebook and click 'join'. We would love to make you part of the club!

JK...

We changed the logo. Again. Look to your right to see it. You can also visit the website to see it. We have also made some minor adjustments to the website and blog. As far as new business, Dr. Ima Brain has agreed to be interviewed! That's kind of a big deal. She will be speaking on the ever-popular topic of the end of the world. Watch for the upcoming video, "Interview with a Brain" which will be available to watch on Thursday, March 31. More new business: The Evil Genius Network will be releasing an all-new product very soon! Keep your eyes peeled for news on the latest Evil Genius awesomeness.

Honoring Our Top Evil Geniuses

Go see it for yourself- our Evil Genius Henchmen Bios page has had several new additions. Just check it out on the website! Also, we have a logo! The design is complete, we just need to figure out how to post it. That may not happen this week. But, we aren't slackers. Just underinformed. For now. However! We shall learn! While you wait for us to post the logo, why don't you check out the new Lemon Lobber videos?

HUZZAH!

Well, fellow geniuses...it's finally here! The Lemon Lobber commercial has been posted to YouTube. So now, its official. Also, for your convenience, we have included a short how-to explaining the basics of operating your Lemon Lobber. That video can be viewed here. Thank you for your patience. We have really enjoyed not being cornered by impatient evil geniuses this week. The Evil Geniuses had been busy creating the Lemon Lobber commercial and how-to, but ever since the videos were posted, the Evil Geniuses were sitting around playing with slinkies and play-doh while they waited for the phone to ring. So, somewhere between naptime and free play, they decided that creating a logo would be a good idea. Consequently, that's what they are in the process of doing now. The logo will be finished sometime this week, and we can't wait to show it to all of you evil geniuses out there.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Dearest Fellow Geniuses,
I know. You have been wondering where we have been because posts have been sparse as of late. Never fear evil geniuses! All is well in the Evil Genius Network, and the Evil Geniuses have been hard at work all week enhancing the website and also trying to get permission to use the Lemon Lobber in a commercial. That will hopefully be done next week if all goes according to the evil plan. Which it usually does. Genius takes time, dear fellow schemers. You of all people should know this. So please bear with us as we get our evil act together to continue bringing you the best that genius has to offer. Also, we will be unveiling our new product very soon, but please, don't lose too much sleep wondering what it will be. Not that you have time to sleep anyway- every evil genius is accustomed to spending the wee hours in the Lair. Alas! I digress. Until next time, fellow geniuses! Keep scheming!

Keep Lurking...

Whoa! Check it out! The Evil Geniuses have posted some pictures of the Lemon Lobber under the "Top-Secret Photos" page! Go take a look...if you dare. Also, have you seen the website yet? Its pretty cool. The Evil Geniuses worked late into the night to create it, and they got up early this morning to connive and plot on ways to make it better. Soon, it will be the BEST WEBSITE IN THE WORLD. Watch and wait, evil geniuses...watch and wait.

Sneaky Business

Dearest Fellow Evil Geniuses-
   The Evil Genius Network is now in the process of creating a website. We are truly on the way to world-domination now! Its not much of a website just yet, but this is the link in case you want to check it out: the soon-to-be awesome evil genius website. Go on...triple dog dare you to take a look...

Nothing Like a Refreshing Glass of Lemonade...

Behold! The Evil Geniuses here at the Evil Genius Network have put their brilliant minds to work once again to create the newest, shiniest, most awesome addition to our arsenal yet. Take a deep breath (you might want to sit down for this one)...and get ready for...The Lemon Lobber! *Insert Beethoven's 5th*
The Lemon Lobber will never fail to launch lemon after sour lemon right into the enemy's eyeballs! Built to withstand 80 lbs of pressure, The Lemon Lobber will shoot over 200 yards! This is so the operator may stay hidden as he lobs lemons at the enemy. Those pesky annoyances won't know what hit them!
The Evil Geniuses are still hard at work developing a commercial for The Lemon Lobber, and because of their busy schedules which are jam-packed with important scheming and top-secret meetings, you, fellow Evil Genius, must be patient again and bear with us as we continue to collaborate, discuss, and film another awesome commercial for our top-secret YouTube channel.

The Revised Confuzerozzer 2000 Commercial

Here it is, the new and improved Confuzerozzer 2000 commerical. Enjoy.

Improving Upon Perfection

Today, our most knowledgeable evil geniuses shall attempt to recreate the Confuzerozzer 2000 commercial. Its difficult to improve upon perfection, but when you are an evil genius, anything is possible. An edited and awesomer version of the Confuzerozzer 2000 commercial will be available in the next few days as we are very busy here at the Evil Genius Network hatching new plans for our latest item which has yet to be disclosed to the general public. But, rest assured, fellow evil geniuses. The new product will be available as soon as the evil geniuses come up with one. After all, we must learn to walk with scissors before we can learn to run with them. So, keep scheming, evil geniuses, keep scheming. Your dreams shall be fulfilled all in due time.

TADA!

With the new YouTube channel up and running, The Evil Genius Network is now ready to unveil the Confuzerozzer 2000! Please view the commercial for the one, the only, the highly-developed, Confuzerozzer 2000!

Our Newest Accomplishment!

Dear Inquiring Minds,
  No, the YouTube channel has not been graced with any videos yet. However! It shall be soon. The ideas that are brewing shall take yet another day or two to morph into content that is not too overly awesome for YouTube to handle. But, as has been mentioned, Genius takes time. The remainder of today shall be devoted to evil scheming and the creation of a top-secret video with top-secret information about our very first top-secret product...The...*insert dramatic music*...Confuzerozzer 2000! Evil Geniuses of the world may find out more about our Confuzerozzer 2000 by viewing the very informative video that shall be posted to YouTube as soon as it has been created. The remaining remainder of today shall be devoted to putting the company's most Evil Geniuses to work on figuring out how to post the link to the Evil Genius blog. It's just waiting to be ambushed by videos of the interworkings of The Evil Genius Network. Until then, fellow geniuses, farewell.

Patience, Young Grasshopper...

Fellow Evil Schemers-
   Now that the Evil Genius Network is up and running (according to the super secret plan), we have now decided that it is in the best interest of the company (and the world) to further broadcast our intentions of siezing world power by creating our very own youtube.com channel! Please do your best to be patient and not form an angry mob to storm the company's gates as we are doing our best to be quick and efficient about the whole technologizing process. After all, Genius takes time.

Hey Look!

Tools For The Evil Genius is one step closer to TAKING OVER THE WORLD! We are now online.